无奈

我们不可能再像从前。。。

我不知道该怎么说，也不懂该怎么表达，只知道。。。不会再像以前那么要好，或许我们没有很好的默契吧。。。

怎么办？还要挽回吗？不过，我觉得就算这次挽回了，改次还是会有问题出现的。这个问题不是短暂的，也是不能解决的。。。

我觉得很讽刺，我既然会从一个布告栏上知道那件事而不是从你的嘴巴。。。呵呵。。。
讽刺吧。。。

算了，早就该知道会这样的。。。

Tweet

Self Protection Awareness

When there is something that make you feel uncomfortable and unsafe, your self-protection awareness will be automatic activate.  You will protect yourselves from getting hurt.  Well I guess this has happened on me, I can feel that the self-protection awareness has been activated.

Read more »

Tweet

The Beginning Stress

FUh, I just realized one thing.  I have become lazier and lazier as I update my blog like once a week! (or maybe longer)  Wow!!!  Where is the spirit that I used to have?  My life has been so lifeless recently.  Everyday I am doing the same thing: eat, sleep, drama, cook, and class...  Damn annoying life!  Oh ya, I should add another important thing in the routine --> FYP

Other than FYP, I guess all of the third year students are preparing the same thing which we should start to find company to do our internship already.  Starting date will be 25 June until 14 September (12 weeks).  I know it would be the toughest time for that 12 weeks for me as I never really expose to society before this.  I was a fully protected child like what my teacher said before.

Until now, mummy still wants me to be her side during internship.  I also wish to get internship in my hometown but from what I see now, it is little bit difficult as there are too little IT company that willing to hire fresh grad...

When I think of FYP, I feel like I want to end this school life as soon as possible but when I think that I'm working soon, I don't hope to end my school life. =(  Contradiction...

I know I have been concerning too much, thinking and concerning things that I can't control and things that I shouldn't been thinking right now.  I think about where to stay if I really have to work other place, I worry about the accommodation after this.  So many things that I think.  I know I shouldn't think all this until I confirm to get a company but all this matter just came into my mind!  Plus, I worry about whether I can cope with the company or not because I am sure that in this 3 years I learn nothing.  Seriously nothing.

I am a slow learner and I am very sure about this cause I never get into track when others have already master theirs!

So many things to worry and so many things to do!

Tweet

Holiday Before New Semester Starts

My holiday is about 3P, sleep and eat but in the last week of 3P one more thing added to my holiday, that's drink!  LoL

The last day of 3P I still have to sit for the DBA examination and luckily I passed!  How's the result?  I find it good enough for me but obviously for some others they think they should get better.  Fuh, it really sounds ironic to me... =(

After the exam I straight away go to KK just to spend my 1 Malaysia voucher.  Did I mention that my mama couldn't use it because I wasn't at there?  Yeap, the shop keeper doesn't allow my mom to use it because the owner of the voucher wasn't there. =(  So she has to post back to me so I can use it.  But bad news is I can't use all the voucher but only RM100 out of RM150.  The reason they gave is the chop at the back there is not clear and the bank wouldn't let them to claim back the money.  I'm so unlucky... =( 

I guess if my mama has used the voucher once she got the voucher I don't think so many problem will occur. =(

Anyhow I still manage to use them and finally I got my chance to go for shopping after so long. =))

Bought books for my bro and sis and 2 pairs of design scissors for sis and some stationery for myself. =(  I never know that RM100 can buy so few things!  Fuh!!!

After spending time in the book store, I went to find things that in my shopping list and the most important one are toner and moisturizer.  

I don't know why is the price so cheap compare if I buy one by one.  I remember the toner cost me RM20++ and the moisturizer cost me RM40++ if I buy one by one, but I saw the discount package which only cost me RM72.90!  Seriously I save a lot!!!  Gonna use it after my current toner and moisturizer finish. ^^

Inside the box there is a sleeping mask sample!  Too bad my friend threw hers away when we were in KK as she said the box is really taking lots of space, so she just threw it like that without checking everything inside. =p

Haha!

I tried the sleeping mask before when I was in hometown, (my mom bought one for herself and she asked me to use) it really nice and moisturizing. =)

Too bad someone threw the sample away... LoL

Now the semester break has gone and have to back to school day again which I hated most although I know in the future I gonna miss life here.  

p/s:  I miss when the moment when the whole campus only have few students...

Tweet

Happy Valentine's Day

Happy Valentine's Day People!!!

Oh! You are right, how I gonna celebrate as I don't have partner to celebrate with.  Hurmp, but I managed to get myself one temporary one. =p

At least I enjoyed my night last night with all crazy friends!  And the night before I manage to make myself manicure!  Hehe~

Made valentine's theme art on our nails.  Haha!

It was my first try!!!  I think they are awesome, what do you think?? =)

And then had celebrated the night with DBA course member and of course with our Trainer!

We drink, eat and laugh!!!  Fuh...

Will post more picture soon or you can view the pictures from this album.

Oh ya!  I almost forget to share another manicure that I did for Lin!  First time try something this hard.  (I know it doesn't look difficult for some of you but it is difficult for me!)

Right, my trainer is here... I should off and concentrate.

Tweet

Some Thoughts 2

Somebody's action seriously disappoint me... =(

Anyhow I know who you really are already!  

So I will protect myself from you!!!!!!!!

Tweet

Some Thoughts

Sometime it is not that you want it then you can do it.  Lots of people keep telling me that if you want something eagerly then you will get it anyhow.  But for me, I feel that if I want something eagerly, I will get it anyhow but have to + with luck and timing.

It is just simply what I think.  I am always lack of luck like friends around me have.  When they are not into something they can still mix well after a while but not to me.  For example, friends are keep saying that they are so stupid or can't do the paper that came out for final, but you will never know actually they still can get well result.  I don't know what is 'I DON'T KNOW HOW TO DO' really means to them as they can always say that sentence but still can get very good result... fuh...

As I mentioned that I'm attending 3P course, I feel that I'm wasting my time there seriously...  Everybody is so hardworking solving codes and understand what he is teaching while I done nothing and understand nothing at all.  Sigh... 

That's why I said I'm so got no talent or give in anything that is useful for me now!

Thinking of my internship, I really feel upset and don't know what to do... and I know there is another thing that I afraid most ---> FYP!!!

I thought of stupid thoughts because of those stress but I know I shouldn't and I can't!  Sigh, why people are so enjoy in their University life but looking at mine, I feel that my university life is so dull, and not colourful enough.  

Maybe I didn't put more afford (I believe everybody gonna say this to me... )

Fine...  I know I'm stupid and I can't mix around with intelligent people which all the clever people can understand things very fast!

Right, I gonna sleep... 

p/s:  day dreaming...

Tweet

Sigh

That day our 3P instructor suddenly talk about our internship and this has made me think of my own future...

Just realize, my future is so blur!  I can't even see where I should head to! =(

The instructor said we should find a small company to do internship first to learn things before we start to work in big company.  I wanted to work in Ipoh where grandpa is there at least I don't have to worry where I should stay... but since friends are telling me that Ipoh got very few company that suitable.

Now I'm thinking whether where to choose now... Daddy and mummy said I can work anywhere, if I want to work in Ipoh, I can ask my uncle who is staying in Ipoh to notice for me; if I want to work in KL, I can ask my uncle who is staying in KL to notice for me.

I know I have already lots of options compare to others but...

Sigh...

So many things to think of to be an adult... =(

Tweet

悲

满满的希望

慢慢的期待

最后。。。

最后。。。

只换来满满的失望

唉。。。

T_______________________T

Tweet

累了

终于，终于这一天到了。。。
我说的这一天并不是一开心的一天，只是觉得自己不再是自己了

没有了原本的快乐

没有了原本的人生

没有了原本的生活

没有了想要的东西

没有了享受的东西

没有了这样的朋友

没有了这样的迁就

更没有了让我感受的疼爱

有的只是。。。

一丝丝的悲伤

一丝丝的失望

一丝丝的醋意

一丝丝的不明白

还有很多很多的恨。。。

有时候想，也许该放下所有所有的一切，活在自己的生活里，不要再为任何人，也不管其他人。。。做自己爱做的事，不要再为别人做什么的。。。

为什么？

因为别人只会把你的好给狠狠地丢在地上，不会领你的情

累了，

真的累了。。。

Tweet

不再近了

不知道什么时候开始，我们之间好像多了什么。。。
是你变了，还是我变了？
不过我觉得我还是老样子，可是说你变了又好像是我自己觉得罢了。。。

还是比较喜欢以前的你，至少你说话时不会气到人，尤其是我。

我也觉得我要求很多，以前觉得你这样不好那样不好；现在你变了，我也觉得这样不好，那样不好。。。
也许是我自己还在原地踏步吧。。。你早已经离我远远了，只是自己不觉得罢了。。。

有时候觉得自己很傻，把自己的热屁股贴在别人的冷脸上，自己在自作多情罢了。明明就是关心别人，可是一一被人糟蹋，还跟我说一句：我就是想这样啊。。。

算了，像他说的酱，别人要说什么是别人的事，我管不了这么多。。。

p/s：情绪好低落。。。

Tweet

Manicure Season

I'm a manicure fever ever since I start to try arts on my own nails after mix around with seniors who love manicure!  Plus I love art just I don't have very good talent on art.

I always wanted to have friends that can spend time to have manicure or makeover session like twice a month as a relaxing and distress all the stress...

 

Recently it has been like so addicted to manicure, where I can spend the whole morning or whole night watching drama while manicure!  Do some arts on my nails...  Even though using left hand is a little difficult but now I improved my skill!  At least less shake like last time.

Here are some manicure I did for the pass 2 days~  

Now even Malay friends come to my house to join my happiness!  (they ask me to help them to do manicure!)  I'm really happy when I can do manicure on others.  Luckily they appreciate what I do. =)

I know the skill still not 100% perfect, but at least there is improvement!  ^0^

Okay, now I know what is my hobby already...  My hobby is do girl stuff!!! <3

Tweet

Rejection

Dear someone,

Rejection is the most scary things in the world, that's what you think.  But sometimes it is quite true, because most of people hate to be reject when towards people that they love and care most.  Especially when a person you wanted him or her to share your happiness and been rejected immediately.

I know you are sad, but still everybody has their own right to choose what they want to do and what they don't want to do.

I know how you feel but sometimes you have to respect what they think, if you force someone to do things he or she dislike you are being selfish.  So why not just go the other way round and put your love or share your happiness to someone that appreciate you rather than someone that keep rejecting you?

So if you ask me what you should do, I will suggest you not to be initiative on the person that has been rejected you many times because one day you will realize that it is useless to ask that person when every time you will get the same answer even though you asked.

Don't be sad because it is not worthy to be sad because of this thing, it is just a small matter.  =)

Treat nice to people who appreciate you and ignore people who don't appreciate you.  =))

xoxo,    

From Cai Yi

Tweet

What A Life...

It has been busy day since 27th January...  I mean since 3P has started.  Now I only have a day holiday each week!  Which means I have to go to the lab at 9am until 5pm and holiday on Sunday.  (DOn't you ever think that I have holiday during public holiday, because this course doesn't care about public holiday, the class goes on!)

My life is so like an employee's life!  I really hate this and everyday has to go class that early, lunch break back room to prepare lunch for myself then 5pm finish class I have to prepare for dinner!!!  Argh... 

I'm just complaining la by the way, because I know life now is much better than after the last semester starts...  I know if now I have the time to sleep I should sleep, because I'm not sure whether later after this I gonna have this kind of life or not...

Sigh...

What a life...

Tweet