Words For My Ownself

I don't know why I feel so down this few days.  I feel suffer and moody.  I don't even think anybody will know about this if I didn't write my feeling in blog.  I don't know why I have this kind of feeling.  I really suffer because of this.  I really hope I can cry aloud and I want to, but I feel difficult to make the tears to come out from my eyes.

I know that if a person can cry when he/she is sad or hurt, but I can't.  That's why I feel tired and I can do nothing but continue my life here.  

University life....

At first I thought University life is joyful, relaxing and full of happiness but now I realize that I'm too naive to think all about that.  The life here in University is actually consider as pre-job or pre-reality.  You will get to see there are many kind of people in the world in University.
Sometimes you can't even see the real part of a person or you will never know the true personality of him/her until the end of the life.


I know that I shouldn't be so emo, but sometimes it is really difficult for me to wear mask around to be happy in front of everybody.  But fortunately some of the friends that I meet here are good to me and sometimes I can feel I am laughing honestly and deep in my heart when I am with them.  


I think I really have to change my mindset my charging up myself, there are no friends that can be charging for me.  I will always remember to what you told me, I will always remember that although you are not at my side but the spirit and the energy will always be around me and help me along.
I really do miss you all a lot.  Every time I faced problems here, I will think of you all and make me feel that it is not a wrong to know you all.  Make me be more appreciate that I have you all.  Thanks...


Sometimes it is suffer to look at people's face to do things that we dislike.  This not me and I love to do things that people never ask to.  If you ask me not to do that, then this will make me want to do that eagerly.  Maybe because of this many people misunderstand me.
It is hurt and sad to hear that honestly, but nothing I can do.  I can't wash their brain, I can't control them from listening from the 'news' from others.
But I know that I can change their mind when they know me well.


Anyway, this is not the time to think all about that.  What I have to do now is study and do my own business.  Don't be too busybody to help others when they didn't ask for help cause some of the people will think that you are pretending.  
Just do what ever that I think is good then it will be enough and don't care what people think of.  
Just remember one thing that is: when people trying to say bad or good thing behind of you, just let them continue.  Actually you are too famous that's why they will say about you.  Just imagine, if they don't even know you, how will they mention about you???


Yupe, I have to charge up myself.  Never let myself walking down but walking up. =)