Calm Down, Cai Yi

This gonna be super boring post which will be all about me, myself.  This post will be something irrelevant to the surrounding but only about me which I think I need to express out here where by maybe there are some of you (or anonymous) would like to give some comment or guide to me.

I will be super appreciate all the guide you give me.  You can either email me or leave comment at the bottom there.  Although I know there wouldn't be anyone who read my blog, but just in case la.  (hope)  So if you insist to know what happen and maybe you are so kind to help me, you can just click the read more button at the bottom, read through and give me something.  Thanks!

Every freaking day we listen so many things, bad and good things of course.  What you do after you hear all those stuff?  Definitely for those information or news that able to grab your attention, you will listen and maybe the information will stay in your brain for few days, right?  Okay now things happened to me.

I always like to listen to what people say and I don't really talk much about myself like I don't really tell people how really I feel especially towards relationship stuff.  I feel offended when everybody talks to me about that, I don't know why.  Even when close friends asked me that, I will still yell at her/him or maybe just ignore.  Unless, I am the one who willing to share.  (yeah, selfish behavior)  

Okay, back to the topic.  

So I always come to face this kind of problem where when a person complains something to me, I will directly like all the questions and problems and put it on myself.  And then I will start to think, now you are talking to me all those complains, will it be one day I become the topic of you and others?  I don't feel good when I think of this.  (yeah, think too much)

I know that I shouldn't think this much and just do the best of myself and I know I don't live or survive because of others but I live and survive because this is who am I.  Somehow if you know me well, you would know that I'm a person that very concern about what and how people think about me, especially with my attitude.  This is because I can look at the mirror and see how I look (appearance here I mean) but I can't really see how I behave when talking to friends or people out there.  That's in Mandarin we have a quote saying that what you eat might harm your health, while what you talk might cause an accident (病从口入，祸从口出).  

Some people don't really like to talk frankly and tell people the mistake they made and then complain behind of the person.  Don't blame them because that is their way of expressing.  Seriously, I prefer to get complain in front of me although I know that I wouldn't be happy to hear that neither but at least I know what I have done wrongly.  This is also mean that I have been given another chance to change and improve!  

Yeah, now whenever I heard of complain about others, I started to think and afraid of the situation which might happen to me because we don't really want to correct someone who we don't really friend with very much.  Like one of my friend said:  I don't want to give feedback to the company (which their service sucks) so they don't know that they need to improve which also cause them lost their business.  Which is indirectly they will 'kill' their business.  

So now I have to brain wash myself and go to bed now to stop thinking.  fml

Good Night.