Sigh

I am very scare at the moment actually.
I scare of when all my friends went to University and left myself alone.
I know you always see me happy go lucky face, actually I scare most when I am alone.
The feeling scares me.
I also don't know why.
I am really afraid to be alone.
Being alone when I was working.
Being alone when I was driving.
Being alone when I was reading story book. (especially when I was going to sleep) I scare the people in the story book will come out to the real life. (it is not because after I watched Inkheart)

I am a person who love to say nevermind.
But actually I very mind of it although I am controlling myself not to be mind of it.
I don't know why.
It is true that the monk say, I am the person who can laugh very loudly in front of everybody and pretend to be very happy and actually when I was alone I will think alot.
Even my friends and my family do not know this.
I think I'm very good in acting.
I think I should just join to learn how to act.

I still remember when Meei Siew told me that some of the friends were boycotted me, I pretend I was very well but I cry everytime I bath for a week, I keep thinking of that although the incident had already past for so long.
I must admit that I am a person that very mind of how people think of me.
How people treat me as.

Lots of my friends they already found their best friend, but I never find one.
It is very difficult to find one.
Sigh!
Sigh!
Life is just complicated and difficult although you have try the best to make them simple.