Complicated

I know that it sounds weird for me because you always see me laughing and smiling all the time. Actually there are a lots of things that bother me lately. I really feel exhausted every seconds. Exhausted in mental but not in physical that's why you can't see it.

I know that if I don't share this feelings out it is difficult to let people know how I feel but sometimes it just difficult to say it out and I really don't know how to say it out. This really make me feel that I got no friends sometimes.

It is more suffer when you facing others and you still need to smile and look cheerful infornt of others. I always do the same thing and I believe some of my friends do always do this too. How I know? It is just feeling.

Now I just hope that all the questions in my brain can be settle down in end of this week. If not I might get brain cancer I guess.

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Qing Ming

Sleep late last night. Really feel lucky I can fall asleep because of the movie. I really can't forget the face of those Allien in the movie 'Knowing'. But since I'm really tired, I fall asleep at around 2am this morning. Mid-night.

Wake up at 7 in the morning today and I was very blur at that time. When I wake up that time I was wondering what day it is, and thinking whether I need to go for work or not... Really very blur that time. I need to anlyse properly to notice that today is Sunday, so I continue my sleep with Mr. Chou.
Until nearly 9 in the morning, my mom came into my room and wake me up because we were going to Jabor for 'Qing Ming'. After a quick rush, we started our journey there and reached there at around 10 in the morning.

There were lots of people compared to the last year we went there. I done nothing there except standing there and observed. At the end I observed nothing. Lol... Telling the truth I don't really like to go this kind of place. I feel that it is polluting the evironment by burning all those papers and all those 'money'. But I can't say anything there, because they got pantang and they say it is not good to do so either. Beside polluting the environment, the smog also makes my eyes watery. Is not crying but I feel uncomfortable with it.

We didn't stay there for long, because the place is really full of people. We went home at around 11.40 something in the morning, then take our bruch in Medan Selera.

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Old Town

Having another gathering just now with Grace and Yi-Tsiang. It is so difficult to ask Grace out leh. She is a busy women nowsaday. Study in the morning till evening, then she got to work till midnight. Geng leh...
Spending around 2 hours there chating nonsense with them at Old Town. From order drinks till finished drinks until the workers all started to clean up although we think that the night is still young.

It is a little tired because after working in the morning, rushing home then went out to watch movie and reached home at around 7pm and then go out again at 10pm and this time I reached home at 12.30pm. It seems like I spend my time outside than staying at home. But I really like this kind of life. But if I compare with Grace, I think she is tired than me. She is really very hardworking and use her time fully 24 hours to earn money and study. I really respect her!

Actually I feel a little bit of regret to go yam cha at night with them. I didn't mean that I dislike yamcha with them but I feel that I become mentol over there. Hey, I mean it!! Is what they talk. I really couldn't get what they are talking about. Maybe I am stupid enough. Whenever they say I just listen. Most of the story got opening, half way and ending. But mostly I only listen to the half way through. Really blur to listen to what they say. When I asked them to explain to me, they will say that I'm too innocent to listen to that, they don't want to darken the colour of my heart. Lol, what a silly reason is that. Somemore Yi-Tsiang said that I am too young to listen. Deng, I'm not young la!! I'm already 19++ liao lo... Sommore I am older than Grace la...

I also don't how we yamcha can yamcha till midnight. I know that the workers want to go back liao, but I don't feel like going home so early la... They still got lots of thing didn't tell me yet and they said that it is very guilty to tell me.... Lol, suan le ba...

Smile~~~, can't I don't feel smiling right now...

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Knowing

Look at the title, I'm sure that you will abit blur or wondering 'what knowing'?

Actually 'Knowing' is a movie. Erm, I think this movie can consider not bad la. Is abit scary for me in the climax. But after you watch this, you will feel Zadao....

But you go find out yourself about the synopsis la... hehe

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Sigh, nothing I can do...

I can't believe I only realize this at this moment. It is just like the day is going to end. I guess my life is going to end without going into University. Don't ask me why!!!
It is really heart break when I found out this. Sigh, but unfortunately I can't do anything else even a little thing to bring it back. My hands are shaking, I am really affraid.

When I realize this I was thinking that it may be not that bad I guess, but after I think deeply I found that it is not that simple as I have thought. It is really a very big deal. Nobody can help me right now, only Him. God.

Sometimes things really never go well as you think. That's why I always says that life sometimes really like shit. When you are having very joyfull time and enjoying time, you will suddenly found out something bad happen on you. And I'm facing the problem now. But I got no idea how I going to face it. It is not as simple as you think, it is a very big problem, not a tiny one.

But how if things that I am thinking right now happen?? What should I do next?? Argh... I hate thinking like that, I hate to put myself into this kind of situation. But what can I do?? I am really into this situation. Oh God... How come life can be this complicated?? You know that I dislike life that have this kind of things. I hate....

But still, I think I can handle this for now, but I can't promise that I can handle it in the future. If that really happen, I really can't think what I can do already... Maybe just to say byebye...

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