Friday, April 16, 2010

Sad Feeling

I almost did something very selfish today…   but I’m glad that I didn’t do that.  As planned, we went for dinner just now, but with one more extra people. 

She asked whether she can join us for the outing or not in Facebook.  I reply with a NO.  Then there left lots of comments.  I observed and think.  I really think deeply.  Think while I was bathing, while I was changing.  Finally I make a decision.  I choose not to go. I realize that I’m really selfish for not letting others to go, why don’t I choose myself not to go instead of rejecting others?  I don’t want to go already.  No Mood.  And I believe that they still can play and enjoy happily without me.

After I back from the main building, I saw them, and they saw me.  I don’t want to make them think that I’m playing with my own feelings or show temper.  So I went.  I knew it.  I knew it was a bad decision that I choose to go out at the end.  I believe that they can play more happily without my appearance cause they were obviously got pissed off with my expressions and attitude.

I’m really sorry that I was really hardly can smile.  Yes, you guys successfully make me laugh, but laugh and smile is different.  You can make me laugh anytime because I’m the kind of easily get to laugh but not smile. 

*sigh*

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