Love

These 2 days, I got no idea what made them start the topic but they really find clueless on me.  For them, I'm a person who afraid to accept love from friends.  

Gosh!

I'm not!!!

I'm not a person who doesn't accept love from others, I love to be pampered and how would I reject all the love that gonna given to me?  Maybe you guys really don't know me well as this is who am I.  

I never reject your love.  I swear, I never reject the loves that you guys wanna give me.

When I say I am not a good friend

When I say I'm a reality person

Then I'm!

I know who am I better than anyone else in this world.  I don't want one day, you regret to be my friend with the reason that I'm not a good friend.  I told you before, that I'm not a good friend, so don't treat me as your good friend.  I don't want you to get hurt, that's why I want to tell you who really am I first.

Seriously it is good to have friends like you guys, but I am satisfied with the way I'm now... When I want to tell something I will tell, when I want to say something, I will say....

Who knows maybe one day you guys manage to change me into someone that can speak heart to heart.

I'm so sorry that I didn't talk heart to heart with you guys... I don't know why, just all the words can't be expressed out from my mouth...  Even some of my hometown friends that I know for more than 5 years, I still not able to tell them how I feel...

Maybe you feel I am disappointing you guys now, but I'm sorry I really didn't want to do that... That's really me, I can't control myself doing that.  The intention of telling you guys how bad I'm is because I don't want you to get hurt because I know I'm not a good person...

I know I know that you might say, am I a bad person is not judge by myself, but by you guys...  But I just can't control this, this is totally out of my control!  Even one day I lost my memory on you, I bet I will still tell you the same thing that I am not a good person.

p/s: I know you must be very pissed when read this, but it is better for you to see me talking to you in a smiley face than typing... I guess... =p