True Feeling

Something just happen just now and I'm not sure what had just happen. What is friendship? I just read through a blog and it mentioned about friendship. For me friendship is just nothing.

Telling the truth, I got no best friend. Look back to my previous post, I did mention that friend. I must admit that I am really affraid of being alone but this doesn't mean that I must have a best friend. I think most of you will sure say that everybody must has a best friend just to share our happiness and sadness but I don't really agree about that.

Look backward to my life. When I was in Kindergarden, I am sure that I had a very good friend that I always follow her whenever she went. Eat together, chit chat together, spend our time together when we were in the school. But time pass, soon we need to separate and go into primary school. After half a year, I already forgot what is her name. If I really got the chance to meet her at that time which mean after 'disconnect' for half year and 'connect' back, I'm sure that I got nothing to talk to her or play with her. At that time, I will have new friends who studied in the same class with me. But when I was in primary school, for sure that we will always change our class according to our exam result. And at this time, we will sure lost our good friend cause we spend time lesser and lesser.

Let say I still having the same good friend in primary school although we study in the different class. But come to secondary school, the probability for us to study in the different school is very high. And lastly, I need to meet new friends in a strange, new school. By time, I will slowly forget the friend that I had met last time. I'm not a forgetful person, so I can still remember my friends who study in primary school and their faces during that time. But since we are in a new place, of course we need to know new people and treat them as friends, cause they might those person who share knowledge with you for five years. Who know?

After secondary school, going in to form 6. This time we still need to change our school because we taking different course and some of them choose to go to colleges. From secondary to form 6 is not a very tough thing but from primary to secondary is very tough because most of the friends were study in other school.

Keep changing friend. Do you know what I mean about? Sometimes is not our own fault not to have best friend, but is the situation not allowed. I really jealous those who can still keep in touch with their friend who study in the same class in primary school last time. And they still can talk to each other very well. Laugh together, share secret together. Well, I don't know why I can't. I am really difficult to share my secret to people. Normally things that I speak out, I'm not affraid that it will spread out, cause things that I speak out I don't really mind about.

Now I'm waiting for my result. I have been suffer because I am so so so afraid to be alone when I go into University. The feeling is totally different from last time. Last time I didn't think too much about feeling lonely because I know that how lonely am I, I still got my family members with me when I have finish my school. But this time is maybe I'll go into University that I might need to stay far away from my family!!! Only specially holiday can balik kampong. I don't want that feeling. It seems like going to put me into hell.

Ah!!! That's why I don't really believe in best friend or a very close friendship. This is because when you share everything with him/her but doesn't mean that he/she share everything with you!!! Becareful with your friends around you, maybe they will betray you one day!!!